|
August 7, 2008
We are back home in NC after a grueling 17 hour train
trip back from New York on August 1st. Bright and early the next day, we
loaded our shipping container with the help of 7 fantastic gentlemen and
one lady from Celebration Family Worship Center in Morganton, N.C. They
worked harder than you can imagine helping us to literally "stuff" that container,
build a barrier wall and finally load our family van. It was quite an interesting
experience! We cannot thank God enough for their heart of service to us.
The next day, Sunday, we attended Celebration and shared a little about our
experience in New York at pre-field training as well as what we expect to
be doing in Belize. The pastor blessed us with a commissioning by their
elders, which was very special for Sarah because her father, who is an elder
there, led the prayer. Scott had shared about the little trial we endured
after his suitcase full of shoes and a brand new Bible was lost on our way
up to New York. He literally had only the shoes on his feet left! Pastor
MacClendon surprised Scott by announcing that the church was providing funds
to replace all the lost shoes and would be purchasing a new Bible for every
member of the family! Finally, the church took up a love offering for us,
laying the collection buckets at our feet while church members came forward
with words of encouragement and financial gifts. We were totally blown away
by the overwhelming support and powerful encouragement we received there.
God continues to use His people to humble us as we become more and more aware
of our dependence on Him for all we are and have need of.
During this time of language learning, things were rolling outside of the classroom. We
had been assigned to the Energizer Bunny! (This is the name that was lovingly
given to the pastor’s wife of Ascension Church.) [She] was very organized and was looking for a great deal of work from us. I did not feel like I had the energy to give to her but buckled down and mustered it up. After all, this was my job and like every job that I have ever held, you do what you need to do to be successful. Well, I soon realized I was dealing with this in a way that I should not. Sarah was doing what she did best, which is to keep the pulse of the children and know what they could and could not handle. I was treating it like work and became very frustrated when deadlines were not being kept and punctuality was not happening. It all hit the fan one Saturday morning. The children could no longer keep up the pace. Sarah knew this and had already started to relax the momentum. I, on the other hand was holding my "employees" responsible for any delays. Boy was this a slap in the face! I
was so busy with the ministry and getting the job done that I was considering
my family as employees and not taking the time to stop and evaluate where
we were as a family. Thank God for my wife. This broke out into an argument and tension between the two of us. Since we both deal with conflict in the same way, to win, the battle was fierce. After several hours of reflecting on the morning I realized I was in the wrong. I was treating my family as employees. Many years of managing large sales teams was playing into the picture. But, God is gracious and so is my wife. I took time to explain to Sarah why I was feeling the way I did and asked God to change my heart. My family is different than a sales team and missions is different from a sales organization. I wanted the job to get done and Sarah wanted to hold the family together. How quickly I traded the family for the job. This is an area that I will have to keep in check, and one that I would not have
considered if pre-field training had not been there.
Sarah The schedule and pace of pre-field took off from day one. All our hours in the day were completely filled between assignments that Ascension had for us and MTW training at Evangel. After about 10 days I could not keep going at that pace. On the second Saturday our team was supposed to have an all-afternoon working session to prepare crafts, paint scenery, build props and get ready to set up for VBS. Our youngest child, Cody, was cranky and tired from a solid week of no naps and I was at my breaking point. Scott and I were on edge with one another and had no time to really sit down and talk it all out. We arrived at the school to start and I looked at Scott and told him, "I can't do this. I need to go home." I think he saw how serious this was for me because he told me to go. I took Cody and we went home. I spent the afternoon cleaning up, preparing a shopping list, doing some laundry, reading and resting. That night we opted to put the kids to bed early and sat down to figure out what to do. We were able to identify the main things that were causing so much stress and conflict. We talked about setting some boundaries individually and for our family. I think we finally realized that we had the ability to make some decisions that would protect our emotional health and our family’s sanctity. Learning to set some limits and boundaries was one of the most helpful lessons that I am taking away from our time here. While I want to grow and be stretched in all areas of ministry and personal aptitude, I also need to be able to accurately evaluate how I am handling the pressure and stress. I cannot expect so much of myself all at once. I discovered that there are certain things that have to be healthy and intact in order for me to be able to move out into areas of challenge. For me, I need some basic things for the children to be taken care of before I can really put energy into personal growth. Knowing this ahead of time will help me once we reach Belize. Next month, I know what things I should take care of before trying to jump right in to the ministry 'needs'. As you can see, we learned a lot about having different perspectives in the midst of the same situation. This was only one of hundreds of moments when we experienced first hand what it means to love one another, to depend on Christ's sufficiency in everything, to resolve conflict in a constructive way that brings glory to God, and to know ourselves well enough to recognize when we need help. Thank you all for your prayers, your notes and emails and your financial support. What we are setting out to do is a humanly impossible task. God has prepared us, not through self-esteem building exercises, but through experiences that have forced us into a place of total humility and dependence on Him. The only way that the gospel will be shared effectively, that churches will be planted, that lives and culture will be transformed, is if He does it. Our prayer is that we would be the vessels that He sees fit to use for His purpose. If you would like more insight into our time of training in New York, we are posting some of our assignments and journal entries on our website. You can see them at: www.mtwsa.net/people/sarensman.htm Many blessings to all of you! We look forward to sharing with you what God is doing through you in Belize - because you are all going with us, through your love, prayers and support! In His Grace, Scott and Sarah MTW Missionaries to Belize ssarensman@aol.com www.mtwsa.net/people/sarensman.htm Please mail all gifts to: Mission to the World P.O. Box 116284 Atlanta GA 30368-6284 Make a note indicating that your support is for account # 010181 - Arensman |